action plan

Life thru the Lens 22:52

Last week, I inadvertently took the week off. Sorry about leaving you all hanging and wondering if Life Thur the Lens would be up and running. The slow motion of the shutdown all began around the 19th. I have been tossing some life ideas around in my head trying to decide if i was going to commit to something rather major, or not.

And then, The Thinker and I had an anniversary that week, our 21st. Since he was gone for our 20th we decided to live it up a bit and to fill that entire Friday, the 22nd doing as we pleased. We took a stroll down a trail, I say stroll because there was no intent of distance mastered that day. I snapped away at flowers, and bugs, and the curvature of the path as we rounded bend after bend.  

Love Flower by Lisa Kerner ©Simply Living Photography

When we lost interest with our hike we hopped over to a quaint little town and spent an hour wandering from antique store to antique store. Afterwards, we headed up the hill to the winery and sat on the veranda listening to all the rambunctious tables around us filled with young people and laughter. And then, we ate the most remarkably divine dinner while we gazed out the window at a wedding ceremony taking place at the wineries venue. 

The Thinker and I spent a vast part of our day discussing my life ideas, the main one being whether I would go back to school, or not. For a long while now I have wanted to go back to school to pursue photography, but I have hesitated because I did not want to be wasteful on obtaining a worthless degree. Over the last few months, several things have come up that have confirmed my thoughts and desires, and last week I finally took the plunge and made the commitment. I am currently in the registration process as we speak. 

Ultimately, the final decision came down to following my own advice. Blue Eyes and Dreamer have both been chatting a ton about what the next step in their lives will be once high school is wrapped up. We have lingered long on our trail with their worries of the "what ifs" and 'how do I knows." I have often given them the advice to pursue something that would fill them up and interest them, even if they cannot find a job in that particular market once their schooling is done. The way that I look at it, our current job market is rather wonky, masses of twenty somethings leave college and struggle to find a job in the college career they choose. If the real possibility of that happening is at stake, then why not pursue a degree you won't look back on and regret? Why not pursue something that when you look back you say, "I haven't found a job in that market but I loved school. I loved learning about that topic, and I loved every second I immersed myself in it."

I am positive that people will read this post and find my thought process completely irrational in logic and not responsible in the nature of parenting.  I am one hundred percent sure that some will roll their eyes at my words and think that I should be encouraging my children to major in a more "successful" degree, seeking an education in a field where the job market is growing by leaps and bounds. That we (I) shouldn't waist our (my) money on degrees such as photography. Maybe you are right. However, the one thing I know is that I would forever regret encouraging my kids to waist money on a degree that their hearts are not attached too. I know that money is not everything in life and the joy and passion that one receives from working in a job that they love will fulfill them more  than money in their bank accounts. If I know and believe that for my kids, then I should know and believe it for myself as well. 

So, my week was full to the brim with paperwork. And, while I felt terrible about leaving you all at my doorstep but not and answering the bell, I also knew it was a now or never moment for me. What time I did spend on the computer, it was stuffed with college applications and transcript requests. My Life Thru the Lens was an excitingly scary week last week... what was yours?!?

I look forward to heading to all of your cyberhomes to hang out with you this week. I so cherish you, and your little places, where I am able to know who you are a bit. 

All of these photos were edited with Kim Klassen's new Studio Presets... you should totally check them out. And, no I receive no compensation for that little plug other than to know I am supporting someone who I can confidently call friend.

I'll be visiting these lovely communities this week... join along... Our World Tuesday Texture TuesdayTexture Twist, and Sweet Shot Tuesday..  

Life thru the Lens @ Simply Living Photography

Life Thru the Lens

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Action

“At the beginning of 2014, when the ground was covered with ice laden snow, and the trees sparkled in the dim winter light I choose a word, or really, the word choose me. Courage. This story started years ago when I rambled into a store and picked up my first DSLR camera. I was so frightened of it that I refused to use it for an entire month. Instead The Thinker went around capturing moments with it, hoping that inquisitiveness would finally capture me. And, it did!

Then, somewhere along my path of blogging to keep family updated and snapping pictures of the fantasy we were living in Europe I was shown another dream of sharing me through the might pen. I thought for a brief moment that maybe this stacking letters together was the path for me. That maybe, one day, I would string enough words together and tell my store and that my story would be placed between the hardbound covers of a book.

But, words they are not my muse.

And, that is okay. It’s okay to be a part of something but not one of something. Because the body is made up of parts, but together each limb, each muscle, each organ that alone plays a vital role, together they create a masterpiece. I am a part of a larger comminute made up of online wonders… writers, photographers, and artists. I am not a writer, but I am a photographer.

It’s been a process to finally be at the end of this path, to erase the dream of being a writer for good. Oh, I will still write. I will still put pen to paper and share a bit of who I am through my words, but the dream is no longer about writing. The dream has returned to its roots, the dream is about photography.

It is hard tell my readers that this is where I am. It is hard to lay splayed out to the world and hope, and dream, and pray that I am not trampled upon by telling the world what my heart desires most. It is hard to put my masterpiece on the walls of the world and have critics saunter through with their opinions and dreaded words of discord that leave me tumbling in the wake of their path. But, this is what I want. This is what hard is all about. And, hard is always worth the pain.”

I know you are wondering if you have read these words before? The answer is yes. Yes, these words were the beginning of the end. They were the closing of one door to begin the process of tugging at another. I wondered as I took two long months off to contemplate, and build, my next dream if this was truly all worth it? Was it worth the effort to build a site that spoke of my heart? Was it worth it to put pen to paper and declare that I am a photographer when I still grapple with the very essence of the process?

Really, it all boils down to one word, fear: fear of the unknown, the unaccepted, and the fear of failure. I have hopped from one cyber site to another desperately trying to evade that fear, but fear always travels where hope dreams. 

There comes a point in your life when you have to decide if the desperate need to conquer fear is really about success, or about the control of failure.

Last year, 2014, was one that will forever be remembered by our family as a year of intense struggle. It was a year where hope, desires and dreams, and fear were matched equally with one another time and time again. Hope would step up to the boxing match and fear would be beaten down. And then, desires and dreams would step up and fear would trample them. It was a year where you roll from one chaotic event in your life desperately clinging to hope because dreams and desires were not enough to eradicate the fear from your every day living.

But, courage was the word that was given to me in those dark, crisp, snow laden early days of the New Year. Courage was the word that rang out in times of desperation where it felt like the breath of life was being punched out of me. And, courage is where this year springs into action, because there is no controlling failure, and there is no success that is not fueled by fear.  And action? Action is the direct result of courage.